Sunday, July 13, 2014

Inky Fingers

When I was growing up, my family subscribed to two newspapers:
(1) Vista's The Vista Press
(2) Oceanside's The Blade-Tribune

As a traditional, printed newspaper, The Vista Press stopped its presses in 1995. However, since 2012 Kathy and Terry Woods have run a theVistaPress.com Web site that brings the original publication into the modern era.

The Blade-Tribune's recent history is more complicated. In 1989 The Blade-Tribune was merged with The Citizen to form The Blade-Citizen. In 2005 The Blade-Citizen was merged with Escondido's The Times-Advocate to form The North County Times. In 2012 The North County Times was taken over by U-T San Diego. As of this writing, U-T San Diego is the only daily newspaper serving San Diego's North County.

My first job

For a little over a year - from June 1977 to July 1978 - I was a Blade-Tribune paperboy. My district manager supervisor was one Barbara H. Ramsey, a hard-working, hustling woman who often seemed on the verge of physical collapse. I think I got along with Barbara reasonably well even if she was a bit unhappy with me because I never did any soliciting.

Most of my paper route lied in Vista's Buena neighborhood. I did my paper route on a chestnut Schwinn Varsity 10-speed, I bike I still have; a paper route bike should be sturdy enough to handle city streets, which are (ahem) not always in the best of shape, and a low-end Schwinn bike is ideal in this respect.

At the time I started my route, a monthly Blade-Tribune subscription cost $3.25; it was up to $3.75 at the time I quit. I initially had about 60 subscribers - almost twice the normal route size, I was told - the 60 number crept up to 80 or so after a few months. At some point I handed over half of my route to another carrier; I had 41 subscribers on my final day (yes, I still have my final carrier billing invoice). I earned $50-$70 a month, depending on the number of subscribers.

All in all I did not like being a paperboy, for the following reasons:

• I disliked the tedium of folding and rubber-banding all those papers before hitting the road. Fortunately, my grandmother, who lived next door, often helped me with these tasks.

• Collecting at the end of the month was a hassle more often than not. I don't have any money, can you come back later? was a common refrain. Some subscribers weren't home at the time I made my rounds, or were home but wouldn't answer the door when I knocked (maybe they just didn't hear me).

• I intensely hated getting up at 5 AM Sunday morning for the paper's Sunday edition. I had some familial help here too: my father was charitably willing to take half of the Sunday papers to a midway point on the route as they wouldn't all fit in my carrying bag.

However, on a normal delivery day when I was out riding around on my bike, being a paperboy wasn't so bad. There are definitely worse jobs out there.

From means to end

I have a spotty history as a newspaper reader: at times I have read newspapers at least once a week or even daily but at other times I haven't read them at all. As for many people, my newspaper reading, such as it was, took a major hit with the advent of the Web.

I frequently read a newspaper in a coffeehouse - primarily Starbucks, to a much lesser extent CC's - when I lived in New Orleans. I would amble in during the 11-12 AM hour and parts or all of the day's The Times-Picayune would be sitting in a little paper holder or strewn about the furniture/tables. With a large dark roast in hand, I went after the sections that held the comics and the op-eds. Many of the other patrons were staring into their laptops; I was there in part to get away from my computer. I have fond memories of reading the full-color comics on Sunday morning at the Maple Street Starbucks after making a recycling run.

Friday, July 11, 2014

Jeopardy Isomerism

Last night on Jeopardy! there was some organic chemistry sloppiness that I, a former organic chemistry instructor, feel a desperate compulsion to sort out.

The sloppiness occurred in the Final Jeopardy segment. The Final Jeopardy category was "In the Dictionary" and the Final Jeopardy clue was:
This adjective can mean "delicate", "heavenly", or, in chemistry, "related to C4H10O".
The correct question is "What is ethereal?" "Ethereal" and the "related to C4H10O" part of the clue point to ether - more specifically diethyl ether (ethoxyethane), CH3CH2OCH2CH3 - whose molecular formula is indeed C4H10O. However, there are actually six other compounds that C4H10O could refer to:

Alcohols
(1) butanol (1-butanol): CH3CH2CH2CH2OH
(2) isobutanol (2-methyl-1-propanol): (CH3)2CHCH2OH
(3) sec-butanol (2-butanol)*: CH3CH2CH(OH)CH3
(4) tert-butanol (2-methyl-2-propanol): (CH3)3COH
(*I am ignoring R/S stereoisomerism here.)
Ethers
(5) methyl propyl ether (1-methoxypropane): CH3OCH2CH2CH3
(6) isopropyl methyl ether (2-methoxypropane): CH3OCH(CH3)2

(Hmmm, maybe we could make an exam question out of this...)

In sum, the Final Jeopardy clue should have been disambiguated by specifying ether's condensed structure vis-à-vis its molecular formula:
This adjective can mean "delicate", "heavenly", or, in chemistry, "related to CH3CH2OCH2CH3".
Clearly, it's time to send Alex and the Clue Crew back to school for an organic chemistry refresher. ;-)

There. I feel better now.

Monday, July 7, 2014

The Song Doesn't Have to Remain the Same

Ever since Led Zeppelin broke up in 1980 in the wake of John Bonham's death, the music press has continually queried the band's surviving members - Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, and John Paul Jones - as to whether they will ever get back together. As of this writing, the odds of a Led Zeppelin reunion are slim. The 'word on the street' is that Page is eager to at least tour, Jones is ambivalent about a reunion but could probably be talked into it, and Plant is the one who says "No".

Led Zeppelin is of course not unique in this respect: the reunion thing comes up with all well-known bands that fragment completely or partially. Will Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr perform together again? Will Steve Perry rejoin Journey? Will David Byrne ever bury the hatchet with the rest of Talking Heads? The press even pesters Brian Eno about a possible Roxy Music reunion. However, I think that Led Zeppelin is the most interesting of these cases, and that's whom I'm going to talk about in this post.

Plant has nixed a reunion because, he says, "I'm not bored" and "I'm not part of a jukebox", and I understand where he's coming from. Nonetheless, I look at Led Zeppelin's musicianship, its presence, its catalog, and the auxiliary material it could draw on, and am intrigued by the performance possibilities: If I could mastermind a Led Zeppelin concert, what would it be like?

Led Zeppelin last performed in 2007 as the headliner for the Ahmet Ertegun Tribute Concert (AETC). I look at the band's AETC set list and my heart sinks: "Oh my goodness, what a frightfully predictable collection of songs." Most of the band's standards are there, in particular "Stairway to Heaven", "Whole Lotta Love", "Rock and Roll", and "Dazed and Confused". If these guys feel an obligation, out of a sense of showmanship, to roll out a 'greatest hits package' when they play, then yes, they really should find something else to do.

We can do better than that. Here are some suggestions for mixing things up:

(1) Led Zeppelin rose out of the ashes of the Yardbirds. Kick "Dazed and Confused" out of the set and replace it with "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Sailor" from Little Games, the last 1960s Yardbirds studio record and the only one to feature Page.

(2) During the AETC the band performed "Ramble On" and "For Your Life" in their entireties for the very first time. There are various other Zeppelin tracks that have never been played live, e.g., "Hats Off to (Roy) Harper", "Night Flight", and "Candy Store Rock": get them in the set.

(3) We've all heard "Kashmir" enough times: replace it with "Slow Dancer" from Pictures at Eleven, Plant's first solo record.

(4) The AETC set didn't include anything from In Through the Out Door or Coda. "South Bound Suarez" is one of the best songs on the former record but has never been played live, so play it; from the latter record I'd recommend "Poor Tom", which has also never been played live, as Led Zeppelin III has historically been given relatively short shrift in the band's concerts.

(5) "Hummingbird" from Page's 1988 Outrider solo record is a cool song: let's hear it.

(6) What about the 1990s Page-Plant partnership? "Wonderful One" is the best of the four Middle Eastern tracks on No Quarter: Jimmy Page and Robert Plant Unledded whereas "When the World Was Young" would be a solid choice from Walking into Clarksdale: get them in the set.

(7) We wouldn't want to leave out Jones's solo material. Robert Fripp solos on The Thunderthief's "Leafy Meadows". How would Page play it? It's time to find out!

Actually, I'm sure that the band is up to the task of culling their own favorites from their various extracurricular projects, but I'm the one who dreamed up all of this, so it's up to me to 'prime the pump', yes?

Needless to say, a lot of fans, critics, etc. would be upset by a show of this nature, to which I say, "Too bad": they should just be thankful that they got to hear four musicians at the very top of their game, which, as Page himself would tell you, is what Led Zeppelin has always been about.

Finally, if Plant persists in being uncooperative, then Page should call up Jones's good friend Diamanda Galás and commandeer her to front the band. Ah, what a performing ensemble that would be!

Upon reading this post, most people - perhaps including Page, Plant, and Jones themselves - are likely to say, "This bloke is mad." Maybe I am. For the sake of the music, however, this is how it should happen, speaking as someone who hates to see great talent and opportunity go to waste.

P.S. You'll notice that I didn't address "Stairway to Heaven" in my suggestion list. As you might guess from the preceding discussion, I agree with Plant that it's time to retire "Stairway" but would be willing to sit through it if the band were willing to work some obscure material into the set.

P.P.S. I favor holding onto "No Quarter" because Page's "No Quarter" solo on The Song Remains the Same is IMO one of the most masterful solos in rock music history. (One of these days I'll have to write up my own "Top 10 Guitar Solos" list.)